Know Your Mind...Your Heart Will Follow.
Sometimes we think we want a change in our lives simply because we're bored with life. Thinking back, the times when I most sought change happened when I was unhappy it was because I felt scared, frustrated, or bored. I've learned that these are all normal human reactions to change and by embracing the change, I was better able to deal with and accept the change(s). I thought it was someone else's responsibility to make sure that I was happy. How wrong I was!
Remember your first love? That thrilling feeling? The rush and intensity? You were both adamantly sure that it would last forever and never change, right? LOL...then life happens, change occurs, simply because human nature dictates none of us remain exactly the same as we move through our lives. It just isn't the way life works...
Reality sets in, we got older, we got sucked into the maelstrom of work, and family demands, then realized, hey, what happened to the "US" we used to be? Well, the "US" is still there, but only if the two people making up the units of "US" make the conscious effort of keeping "US" together.
I remember my first love, gawd, what a rush. Convinced it would be forever, then the reality of change hit...we got married, we had a child, I lost my job, we changed, life's stresses of finances, insecurities, then jealousy raised it's ugly head. I became disenchanted, disappointed, because I thought that the 'overpowering rush' of being in love was lost. I missed it and no matter what I wanted it back.
Because I was young, naive, stubborn, I made choices that ultimately 'changed' all of our lives...simply because I needed and wanted to feel like I used to feel when I first fell 'in love'. Sadly, I found out that the 'rush' is a fleeting moment in time. The second relationship didn't last - why? Because it too lost the 'rush' of being in love.
There's another one of life's conundrums - being 'in love' and 'loving' someone. What's the difference?
In reality, not much - why?
Because being 'in love' constitutes that first heady rush of feeling connected to someone, having the desire so strong of wanting to be one with them, mentally, emotionally and physically. It's that first step towards actually 'loving someone'.
Loving someone means you truly are connected with them, that you support them, are honest with them, even if honesty hurts, that you want the best for them and you want to be a part of their successes and their failures, meaning that no matter what you will always be there for them, even when they are angry with you and tell you to go away.
It means when you have a decision to make one of your first thoughts goes to needing to talk it over with the person you love because what you think, say and do will affect them.
It means that you accept and realize that even though you thought the two of you are ONE, you are still actually two separate, but very connected individuals who change and grow as life's experiences happen and you want to grow together, forge beyond the change and come out stronger on the other side TOGETHER.
Everyone experiences and longs for the 'heady rush' of being 'in love' and many expect it to never change. That is not realistic in totality. True love is not fantasy, but you can make magical, fantasy moments and memories shared together over and over.
It takes two very dedicated individuals in a committed relationship striving to maintain their love, respect and consideration of one another as two separate entities in order for the two of them to remain strong as a couple. Add children to the mix and it takes even more dedication and commitment on the part of the couple to maintain their "ME" and "US" in order to strengthen the bond of love they already share.
Looking back I know the mistakes I made, the mistakes shared by both in the relationships and the mistakes made by the person I loved. Ultimately it took two of us to build the relationship and it took two of us to destroy the relationship.
There's a picture floating around on FaceBook that shows two pairs of bare feet spalshed with mud dancing in a puddle and a quote by Vivian Green, which is a quote from her book: “Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about Learning To Dance In The Rain.”
The question each of us should ask ourselves in our relationships is simply this: do we want to weather the storm silently and alone, or do we want a partner beside us learning the dance and taking the steps to move towards the rainbow at the storm's end?
Me, I'm patiently waiting...God isn't finished with me yet, and He does have that one special person yet to put in my life as my best friend and true love of my life.
I'm now happy by choice and I want to share my happiness with that special person who is happy by choice as well.
This life lesson: no one is responsible for my happiness but me and unless I choose to be happy, there isn't a single soul on this earth who has the power to make me happy.
Because I was young, naive, stubborn, I made choices that ultimately 'changed' all of our lives...simply because I needed and wanted to feel like I used to feel when I first fell 'in love'. Sadly, I found out that the 'rush' is a fleeting moment in time. The second relationship didn't last - why? Because it too lost the 'rush' of being in love.
There's another one of life's conundrums - being 'in love' and 'loving' someone. What's the difference?
In reality, not much - why?
Because being 'in love' constitutes that first heady rush of feeling connected to someone, having the desire so strong of wanting to be one with them, mentally, emotionally and physically. It's that first step towards actually 'loving someone'.
Loving someone means you truly are connected with them, that you support them, are honest with them, even if honesty hurts, that you want the best for them and you want to be a part of their successes and their failures, meaning that no matter what you will always be there for them, even when they are angry with you and tell you to go away.
It means when you have a decision to make one of your first thoughts goes to needing to talk it over with the person you love because what you think, say and do will affect them.
It means that you accept and realize that even though you thought the two of you are ONE, you are still actually two separate, but very connected individuals who change and grow as life's experiences happen and you want to grow together, forge beyond the change and come out stronger on the other side TOGETHER.
Everyone experiences and longs for the 'heady rush' of being 'in love' and many expect it to never change. That is not realistic in totality. True love is not fantasy, but you can make magical, fantasy moments and memories shared together over and over.
It takes two very dedicated individuals in a committed relationship striving to maintain their love, respect and consideration of one another as two separate entities in order for the two of them to remain strong as a couple. Add children to the mix and it takes even more dedication and commitment on the part of the couple to maintain their "ME" and "US" in order to strengthen the bond of love they already share.
Looking back I know the mistakes I made, the mistakes shared by both in the relationships and the mistakes made by the person I loved. Ultimately it took two of us to build the relationship and it took two of us to destroy the relationship.
There's a picture floating around on FaceBook that shows two pairs of bare feet spalshed with mud dancing in a puddle and a quote by Vivian Green, which is a quote from her book: “Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about Learning To Dance In The Rain.”
The question each of us should ask ourselves in our relationships is simply this: do we want to weather the storm silently and alone, or do we want a partner beside us learning the dance and taking the steps to move towards the rainbow at the storm's end?
Me, I'm patiently waiting...God isn't finished with me yet, and He does have that one special person yet to put in my life as my best friend and true love of my life.
I'm now happy by choice and I want to share my happiness with that special person who is happy by choice as well.
This life lesson: no one is responsible for my happiness but me and unless I choose to be happy, there isn't a single soul on this earth who has the power to make me happy.
